Titty’s Ain’t Always So Pretty: The “other debate” about public breast feeding.

Nothing irritates me more than idiots babbling incoherently about non-issues when there are real, literate items the public needs to unite on and address. And before I begin on this rant let’s clarify two things. 1. I am writing this rant as a direct response to the ignorant militance of the people I am reviewing, so yes this one is harsh, on them. But not personal. 2. Every person alive, ever – IS/was a hypocrite. Remember that. Live with it. STFU about it. Move on.

Let the show begin!

Someone, (my mother,) posted some “breast-feeding in public freedom” non-sense via my feed today. On a side-note, usually it’s some other right-wing hippy posting this type of rhetoric and I respectfully let them live that lie because this is America, and people get to say dumb shit. But this time I got lucky since it was my own mother’s posting – I finally got a chance to say my part on the whole NON-issue of militant female genitalia nazis, and boy did it feel good.

So the story is, there’s a group of “badass” ladies out there who just HATE that NO ONE can get over the idea of openly breast-feeding in public. Ohhh MY. WELL! Doooo tell. Get ready ladies. Turn your ‘Lifetime Network’ specials down because freedom is at stake here! Continuing – one “BRAVE soldier of a woman” took “the cause” to “the streets” and started a Facebook group so she could spam the world about how offended she is that she can’t just pull her tit out in public, without having the common decency to use a feeding blanket. And her message is loud and clear, “Get over it.”

I agree, kind of a dud of a message. But now that the stale balloon in the room has been identified, limping along the floor … I think it’s safe to stop holding on to its’ string. Not like it’s going anywhere.

This is where I come in. Soooo … “Get over it,” you say. Huh.

Get. Over. It… Idgaf (web search it) about gorgeous tits in my face. It’s a nice thing. But for every nice rack there’s a not so nice rack. On that flip side, I honestly don’t want to see horrid tits in my face either… which at this time, in the 21st century, usually belong to gross and socially unaware men, but I digress. Up to this point, it’s all pretty much a non-issue.

What really irritates me is the very militant way the titty-nazis approach their agenda. Get over it?

When any asshole flops their genitalia out in public it’s offensive. When the titty-nazis unapologetically, (er w/faux pride,) pull their chi-chi’s out to feed their brat in public, I look around me to see other’s reactions. Call me curious but I’m usually interested in the social experiments of other’s crude behavior. (And on other crude occasions I actually get the job of babysitting friends who drunkenly tell strangers to “puke on their dicks,” in Vegas. Some times even I drink too much and get stupid.) Most of the time, and by most of the time I mean if the goofy person in question has a sense of humor, everything turns out hilariously in the end.

Thank goodness for humor, you know?

Except … there’s no humor in, “Get over it.” That’s just a blunt, neanderthal grunt of irrational aggression.

So what do you usually see when you’re hanging out on the blue line subway ride to the airport when some “titty soldier” thwaps her milk utters out for the whole train to spy on? Well, you see a lot of discomfort. You see little old ladies blushing and uncomfortably staring at their feet. You see some men staring and other men trying not to stare, and if you’re another young chick in the train car – you’ll see other dudes staring at you; greeeeat. The whole premise of someone whipping their genitalia out in public makes people fucking uncomfortable! Imagine that. But all 40 people on the train car should get over it so the one chick can do as she pleases. Which is probably how she got knocked up in the first place. Oops.

“Get over it.” THAT militancy over such a non-fucking-issue… that bullying, (lol fucking buzzwords,) displayed by a small group of empty-headed housewives/single marm bandwagoners is what really turns me off – on this whole “breast-feeding in public” topic. YOU GET OVER IT. You’re basically taking your personal issues out on strangers and looking to pick a fight with everyone around you who disagrees. What are you, the Mammary Militia? “Get over it,” you say?

    Not today, sweety.

You want a fight? Pack your meat sacks and suit up.

I have a huge problem with blatant anocracy: When one group of people try to tell another group that the latter’s beliefs and feelings are less valid than the former’s/accuser’s, that’s an unfortunate place between democratic and autocratic behavior. That’s where I will not sit by and let you get away with your pithy first-amendment battering. The more I think about it, if someone is this asinine over a non-issue, I don’t even want to know their incapability of dealing with real problems.

- People from a town they dislike are dealt a hand of destruction… “Get over it.”
- Women who don’t support their shallow cause, yet who are victims of abuse and need assistance … “Get over it.”
- Disabled old people who don’t understand why some lady feels the need to be publicly nude, but could still use a friend …. “Get over it.”

I imagine my imagination isn’t far from the truth.

So what’s the big deal, girls? No one is telling you you can’t feed your kid in public. There’s no need to bash and demonize everyone outside of your “mother lode mafia.” If you want to breast feed in public then just use a blanket. Use a feeding towel. Why all the fanfare? Beyond that, how about thinking your radical behavior out because at the point you have to be tactically aggressive about showing the world your tits, then the real issue isn’t “your right” to flash us anymore. The real issue becomes the point that your point of view just simply DOES NOT TRUMP ANOTHER’S. If you think it does then the problem is beyond your tits vs. the world. The problem becomes your bullshit excuses to use unnecessary force against people who are just trying to live within’ the realm of their own cultural givings.

BUT WAIT EVERYONE! Some ignorant bitch who can’t even decide if she’s actually a progressive, or archaically right-wing in her external efforts, has decreed that YOU should GET OVER the way you were raised in your culture. Everything’s “fine.” “Go back to sleep Am’urka.”

I really fucking hate it when I am told by a religion that my life style and life choice aren’t right. Especially when I am minding my own damned business and not telling THEM how to go about THEIRS. “Oh but we’re not talking about beliefs. We’re talking about feeding my kids.” Well I don’t think taking a shit is a belief either but I don’t see sane and dignified people crouching on the public library’s front steps to take a shit when the private bathroom is 10-feet up the stairs. Also – YOU’RE feeding YOUR kids. I shouldn’t have to participate in that idiocracy.

Getting back to the point, it’s ignorant to bully and demonize little old ladies and turn public settings into awkward situations over a non-issue. When it gets to that point then, ultimately, you’re just being fucking disrespectful towards other people because their beliefs and culture don’t match yours. There are rules and an etiquette we all are expected to follow in U.S. public settings in order to make those settings tolerable for everyone. NOT JUST YOU. I don’t want skateboarders skidding across the seats in the train car I’m trying to chill out in. I don’t want to listen to someone else’s cell phone conversation on an airplane. I don’t want to watch some chick take a dump in the aisle of a grocery store or watch some dude jack off in an elevator. In PUBLIC SPACE – there’s a mutual respect we must give each other. If you don’t get the idea of mutual respect, and you’re older than 16, then you’re responsible for getting yourself some assistance. It’s not our job to fix you.

And in that vein of thought, it’s also not our job to raise your child. “But you should embrace parenthood and motherhood with us.”

No. We shouldn’t. I chose NOT to have kids because I don’t need or want them. I didn’t choose to be childless so I could raise yours with you. Yet again, thanks for making that decision for me, without asking. What is it with you people? Embrace motherhood? You embrace it and leave the rest of us out of it. Quit trying to pigeonhole everyone into your dementia. It really doesn’t take a village to raise a kid unless you’re the 13-year-old who just killed a 4-year-old for her bike. Good job, society!

So no, your kid is not my responsibility so your genitalia is not something I need to just accept in my face.

And kick the, “I’m doing this for all the moms ever,” bullshit. You’re like #107,602,707,791 in the line of 7 million years of “procreators.” You haven’t done anything novel or original. You’re not an individual. And no, no one gives a shit.

“Whatever – you just don’t know about parenthood because you’re not a mom.” Oh stfu with your mediocre barrel scraping recalls. This is where I can say I shouldn’t have to qualify myself. You’re the one who chose to be a parent in a time the world is struggling to feed and energize its’ current population, fairly. It’s not like you went ahead and decided to be a social issues engineer and are solving any problems. But I will qualify myself by saying fuck you, I have the authority to comment on EVERYTHING parenthood seeing as I raised 15-more kids than you did before you probably even graduated high school in 97. I have a sibling a decade younger and I lived in a giant cluster-fuck of a foster home. I know exactly what it takes and what it’s like to raise children. I could teach you shit you don’t know.

“Whatever, being disrespectful to those around me in a public setting is a beautiful thing.” Is it? I suppose one man’s trash, is another’s treasure … to TAKE TO YOUR PERSONAL HOME and do as you please.

“Well if you don’t like it, don’t look.” Well all right! What a genius fucking solution. Exactly the doldrum sort of response I’d expect out of such an “intelligent” group of “individuals.” Fucking genius … HEY PEOPLE ON THE 405, DON’T SLOW DOWN AND STARE AT THAT ACCIDENT. Also when little Timmy asks his dad why that lady is showing her boobs to everyone, Timmy’s dad can turn the child lock on, on his TV set… oh wait. No. He can’t.

So the bottom line is, if you want to go ahead and pop a kid out then it’s really in your best interest to spend all the time you can to guarantee them a future. Guarantee them that there will be food, resources and a fucking job for them in 20-years. Those things are waaaay more important than “your right” to sandbag public spaces. As someone who has to deal with the long-term effects of terrible parental decisions (as a bartender) I am TELLING YOU, you need to spend all that time you waste dragging out and bullying a non-issue – on making sure your child gets half an ounce of a future in an economic system that, most likely, already has robbed the shit out of them.

But nooooo – why do any of that when the most pressing issue at hand apparently is to embarrass the shit out of everyone around you? Because for yet another self-entitled reason, other than bringing a kid into the world without thinking their actual sustainable future through, you gotta make sure everyone is as offended as possible by your “right” to be topless. Because THAT is the most pressing issue of the incompetent housewife/knocked up wannabe self-titled feminist, or whomever is part of “Team Mangos,” whatever – idgaf.

In reality – the only thing you can really do at this point, since you’re incapable of making a logical decision at all, is to go fuck yourself. Really. Re-evaluate. You’re not in any position to pontificate about human right’s when you’re bullying other’s for their CORRECTLY incapable ability to process some shitty chick strutting around topless to feed yet another mouth she only planned to care for, for less than a third of their life. Parenthood is not a badge of honor that gives you a pass to walk all over everyone else’s cultural and personal beliefs.

If you want to feed your kid with your rack in public, then be humble about your horrible life decisions, be humble about what you’re teaching your child about overall social fairness, be humble about other people’s beliefs who occupy that public space with you and use a fucking feeding blanket. You’re not winning any wars or contributing shit. When you waste your time, my time, and everyone else time with this, “Deal with it,” illiteracy… you’re just being what your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/partner, and most of your friends are already aware of … in that you are just being an ignorant, ridiculously aggressive, and spiteful cunt. Clearly the issue isn’t women’s rights. Clearly you have issues with having your life ruined by an unnecessary pregnancy, and you want to make sure EVERYONE is paying for your mistake. Breast feeding in public, asshole, is a non-fucking-issue. And that’s the issue. You fucking get over it.

Now that this piece has been stated. You are encouraged to toss me a rebuttal I haven’t been confronted with, or thought of. Please know though, if you’re going to respond – you better enlighten me because if you’re going to scrape the bottom of barrel with some 5th grade bullshit and illiterately post it, then you better be prepared to get gutted. So yes – please, enlighten me.

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2 comments on “Titty’s Ain’t Always So Pretty: The “other debate” about public breast feeding.

  1. I did not know about the website. I am a mother and was far too modest to feed anywhere but in my home. However, die-heart breast feeding mothers can’t tell a baby to wait, and I feel should have the discretion to cover up, turn away, and feed their young’n without being castigated for attending to their needs. I would see it as a choice about health, and choose to look the other way. Just after reading your rant I was agreeing with you fully as I watched a TV Show (a scene from 2 Broke Girls) with a mother in a resturant feeding a 4 year old breast milk and french fries. Even though the child was under her sweater, it was traumatizing to wittness such a scene.

    I would rate this rant as excellent without the explisives. Being an older generation I just do not see the purpose or need of the vulgarity, (fuck, shitty).

    Now I have removed the offensive photo, that I thought endearing of a mother and her children on the privacy of a porch. Not sure what the intention of the website is, other than supporting other nursing mothers. Though a few commented there about public feeding, and I being naive would have thought they would be discreet.

    Public breast feeding with discretion when demanded and necessary is not comparable to taking a dump in public.

    I am and was never a hippie. That too, was before my time.


    1. You come from an older generation where racism was king, sexism was boss, where castigation over religion was an accepted norm, where gays were meant to stay in the closet, and where having as many children, without thinking it through / without needing them or not, “seemed appropriate” – but curse words offend you.

    2. You come from an older generation that has taxed the future into oblivion, that ran a country into the ground, and that can’t handle truth – especially when it blindsides you. And you still think you’re doing everyone a favor.

    3 You come from a generation that was raised on a false reality that this country was a place of plenty. You were raised during the only golden age known in this country. It was short lived but you all continue to live like everything should be handed to you and like there’s no repercussions for overtaxing anything. It worked fine from 1943-63 … but it’s 2012 and shit’s back to normal, like it was when YOUR PARENTS, the great depression generation, were in their 20s and 30s.

    With all due respect, your generation is a bane on society. You created the watered down version of everything via perfected censorship. You scold everyone around you like you have nothing to be held accountable for. Your collective main goal in the world is depletion without repletion.

    And then you come to a site where you’ve been given fair warning about the content AND YOU STILL COMPLAIN!

    If you weren’t my mother – this response would be a whole lot less civil. But you are and I respect and love you.

    I do not respect or love ignorance and having children, 9 times out of 10, is out of sheer ignorance. Why the hell do I need to care that you brought your mistake out into public and it’s hungry? Probably should’ve thought that through before you lugged it out of the house to ruin everyone’s day. Let me repeat what was typed above:

    “Parenthood is not a badge of honor that gives you a pass to walk all over everyone else’s cultural and personal beliefs. ”

    If you act like it does then you’re using your own child as fodder and therefore should have never been a parent in the first place.

    I’ve seen a few asshole ladies take this “cause” and smear it in the face of everyone around them. These dumb bitches behave like the world owes them something … and they label it “women’s rights” and “mother’s rights,” when in fact they are taking some very basic premise and smearing it with self-entitlement and pure disrespect for the meanings the concepts serve.
    And if you dare approach them – the only thing they have to say is a mouth of ignorant scorn and accusation. “How dare you limit ‘my rights.’ You’re a monster for telling me I can’t do what I want in public. You are against ‘mother’s rights.’” It’s almost like they read and understand the mechanics of McCarthyism, even though most are probably as illiterate as the child they believe everyone should watch her feed.

    And that’s where I’ll leave this. Thanks for the response. You have to understand that when you militantly drive ridicule into a population … you will meet some amount of resistance. If you aren’t prepared for that then your cause was, most likely, shallow and worthless.

    Also, that hippy bit was ironic humor. Hippys are considered to be very liberal but when you become an angry hippy toting the line of a worthless and damaging cause, then you may as well just join up with the neo-cons. It’s the same thing. The fact that they never stop to think about their paradox – is just hilarious.

    Glad you agree about discretion. Glad you “like” my site.

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