The thing I am the best at.

K-Mart Feminism

Some feminism offends me. Some of it annoys me. Some of it I personify.

Today I got a job posting for some non-descript “Bold, Smart, Girl-Power movement” who need an “awesome: social content and community manager.” I opened the posting with much trepidation because the wording already seemed fucked to me. Buzzworded up with neo-liberal key terms for marketing SEO optimization nonsense. I ultimately felt like I was being talked down to.

Acknowledging what a jaded asshole I am, I explored the job posting. Maybe it was for a great gig in codifying humanism and furthering rights for everyone? Nope. Nope. It’s some sleezebag Hillary Clinton style lobbyist cashing in from her days as a venture capitalist. She essentially set up a nail salon in the center of business conventions for “the modern business woman” to take a break from the hard “it’s a man’s world” work of wheeling and dealing. “It’s a girl thang, you wouldn’t understand, men.” Making a total fucking mockery of what I imagine the modern day business woman to be.

This is what I like to call “boomer feminism” or “K-Mart feminism” or “the Oxygen Network takeover.” Hey girlfriend, let’s talk about “girl power” over mimosas and manicures! Bastardized feminism. Trite and horrible horse shit. I’d argue this isn’t actually feminism but “greenbacking” for the mainstream mouth breathers AKA selling the fuck out.

My dream job in feminism would have nothing to do with midday chicken head squaking. I would be entrenched in piles of case study and research trying to draw lines of commonality between really frustrated low paid white ‘Murika and the rest of the world. There’s no OPI color nail polish for unifying the working class. Self indulging on slave trade chocolates while cunting off about the next shopping spree and fashion catalog aren’t going to set an even ground for young women to blaze trails in STEM jobs.

All this shit is, is using a sacred ism to ignore a progressive movement. There’s human rights based feminism and then there’s a bunch of assholes who locked on to the next “poor Kardashian” marketing gimmick joy ride. “Stand up for Kim. Go buy her slave labor tacky K-Mart clothing line and perfume!”

Some feminism offends me. Some of it annoys me. Some of it I personify.

K-Mart Oxygen Network “feminism” can fuck right off.

Share Button

More from Rants

The “Go Vote” Rant

The “Go Vote” Rant By: Whiskey Tango, 2013 ::Here’s your disclaimer. If you don’t like “potty language,” it’s probably time to become an adult. If that hasn’t happened yet the you should avoid a very poignant piece on why you … read more

Baby Boomer Boners

Oh I’m sorry Bo(eh)ner … go ahead and finish your thought…. You were saying that the rich a-holes who lied to us about WMD, who are leading another less publicized Vietnam in Afghanistan, who collapsed fair standards in media to … read more

Libertarians are the “New” Scientologists

CT: ugh CT: all gov candidates here suck CT: not any better than illinois i am sure CT: fucking three batshit crazy libertarians CT: one GOP zobie whore CT: and one “Democrat” CT: zombie* F: go with the nutjobs CT: … read more

Opportune Take What’s Not Yours Day!

The First Americans The Grand Council Fire of American Indians December 1, 1927 To the mayor of Chicago: You tell all white men “America First.” We believe in that. We are the only ones, truly, that are one hundred percent. We … read more

Economic Darwinism? Really?

I wonder what Darwin and Thornstein Veblen would have to say on this topic of “Economic Darwinism.” I had someone say they favor Wal-Mart because it represents “Economic Darwinism” which got me thinking about wtf this even means. Here’s my … read more